Not Impossible – A Mind in Stone Can Be Broken

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Sharing this from a friend back in Wyoming/Colorado area. 

“Stopped on I25 to help an elderly couple struggling with a flat tire in the rain. While in the middle of putting the spare on, I happen to glance in the backseat and notice about 30 Chick-Fil-A bags. The woman laughed and said they “spent $200 yesterday supporting them and their stance against the disgusting gays that are destroying the wo
rld.” After finishing up and putting the jack in the car, I …turned to her and said “one of the disgusting gays you speak of, just helped an elderly couple change a tire in the rain.” She started crying, gave me a hug, began apologizing profusely, and asked what she could do to repay me. I told her she could do so by not referring to me as disgusting and quit being so quick to judge. She agreed, hugged me again, then I got in my car and left.”

Friday the 13th! Hooray!

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Happy Friday the 13th! As a cautionary reminder, please remember that today is the day NOT to go swimming, have sex, drink, or smoke (killer’s always pick them off first). If you are a bunch of white friends with a token black person, please make sure they are armed and dangerous. If you are not a virgin and tend to be slutty, please carry a big rifle. Do NOT split up from the group, do NOT go out, and do NOT run from the killer (assault that mofo). If you must run and you happen to trip, do get back up and run pell mell. And lasting, please turn on the lights before entering the room. Follow these rule for a Friday the 13th!

For more Friday the 13th Info refer to my post on last Friday the 13th (01-13-12)

Mini Daskaea Update then Back to Regular Programming

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Oh fucking Jeezy Creezy, where does the bloomin’ time go? I’m sorry I made you so lonely mah lurvely blorg peeps, I know you’re mad at me, but you’ve gotta forgive me. Let’s smooch and make up with internet sangrias and some major kiki (If you’re not hip with the lingo, it means gossip!).

Anyways, I’ve been totes busy with my new job as sexy librarian/bookkeeper/internet babysitter. I think I’m sinking into the role quite well, not to mention I have some FABULOUS coworkers, including the amazeballs gal, PiperGrissom who is all up in the interwebs as well! She may reside in a different corner than where I lurk but I rarely meet other people in person who are slaves to the toobs. Check out her page Totally Vampires.
I also turned 25 (Woo! Fiesta!) and went home to Wyoming for a few weeks (also spent some time in Colorado as well). 

Kvetching in Despair for Forum Ability to Pick Up Jokes

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I recently enjoyed a hearty guffaw when reading the Jezebel article called OMFG, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt Are Engaged. The article utilizes the magic of pulling up old magazine covers, noting the 20something times that Brangelina have been “engaged” or “planning a secret wedding”, etc. So, I wrote this little whimsical comment. 
Does anyone seriously think I was….well, serious? A joke comment on a hilarious article? That I was speculating on some super secret collaboration between Brangelina and the tabloids to make millions?!
This Internet Citizen did.
People like this make me want smash my face in the keyboard. 

Dear Random Internet Citizen, 
Please….please, calm down. Sometimes people like me write jokes in comment threads. Not everything written is a somber diatribe and serious treatise of our deepest passions. Also, not everyone on the internet on the internet is an idiot. I promise, you don’t have to educate me on the trials and tribulations that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have endured from the tabloid industry. While I empathize your passionate love for Brangelina, seriously, calm thyself. 
PS If I’m going to promote crazy conspiracy theories, I think I’ll use bad grammar and make a shitty Powerpoint (that I will think it’s totally persuasive) and convert it into a youtube vid. I’ll also use some creepy music in the background. After all everyone powerful in the world is already part of the Illuminati, riiiiight?

Daskaea’s 2012 Summer Movies Excitements and Mehs

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May is around the corner and thus starts off the epic clusterfuck of summer movie EXTRAVAGANZA. I’m looking ahead at the rest of the year and there are remarkably a few movies I’m looking forward to.
Dark Shadows – Friday, May 11th
The new Tim Burton original is getting good buzz and for good reason, it looks awesome and finally a return to Tim’s eccentric, witty, hilarious, exciting, and FRESH writing and direction that made me adore Edward Scissorhands, Beetlejuice, and Nightmare Before Christmas (yes, even a Jewess can love that movie). An adaption of the 70s soap opera it has Tim’s usual favorites: Johnny Depp and Burton’s partner, Helena Bonham Carter (not to dismiss her epic acting abilities), but it also has the lovely Eva Green, the ever alluring Michelle Pfeiffer and wicked talented 15-year-old actress Chloë Moretz (who stole my heart in Kick Ass, I expect great things from her). Plus we have a bit part from geek legend, Christopher Lee.
Watching the trailers has absolutely entranced me and I am eager to see it.
Piranha 3DD – June 1st 
I’m always up for a good Nom movie so the follow up to gore-hilarity-semiporno-fest that was the 2010 film Piranha 3D—which I found amusing and titillating *ahem* (read my Nom review)—will be a randy romp of blood and tits, I’m sure (did I mention TITS?! There will be tits, I need my Piranha-frenzy-induced-lezboner….dammit!). Sadly they aren’t returning the epic Elizabeth Shue to the saga (I am deeply saddened by this) but luckily Christopher “Doc 1.21 Gigawatts” Lloyd returns for his part as Mr. Goodman. Ving Motherfuckin’ Rhames also returns. Despite the loss of Shue we do have surely entertaining bit parts from the ever creeptastic Gary Busey and the Prince of Germany, David Hassleofff. I’d better see some running in slow-motion-on-the-beach action from the Hoff. Mmmmm, chest hair.

Anyways, I’m only looking forward to it for my own sick reasons. In reality, I’m sure it’s going to be god awful, but there will be tits and 3D piranhas, right? 

Snow White and the Huntsman – June 1st

While I can’t pretend to be pleased with the casting choice of Kristen “One Emotion” Stewart as the heroine, I am going to ignore it because the trailers makes this film look absolutely visually stunning and an intriguing take on the tale, perhaps tracing it back to the fairy tale’s dark roots. Of course, even if there wasn’t that aspect, I think I would still go. Because I want to get eye-fucked by Charlize Theron.
This screen cap nearly makes me lose control of my lady parts. Seriously, I have such a lezboner for Charlize in this film that I might go all Bible Black crazy and have a sudden uncontrollable masturbation episode. If you don’t get that reference, congrats, you don’t watch hentai. Anyways, back to Charlize.
Oh and did I mention that THOR is in it??
OH HEY! We get eye-fucking from Chris Hemsworth too!
Two for the price of one!
Egads, It’s a bisexual BONANZA!
Even Little Miss Emo can’t spoil this OH HAVE MERCY movie.

Prometheus – June 8th
They didn’t make it obvious, but it is the fifth installment of Aliens. And because I love the saga (my husband sat me down and forced me to watch every movie last summer, what a great husband, my life was missing out before), I HAVE to see it. It seems to be an attempted reboot after the Alien vs. Predator franchise merge riots (Personally I enjoyed the first AVP movie, those AVP2 was redonkulously awful). It’s a prequel exploring the nature of the aliens, and no Ellen Ripley. Ridley Scott is back onboard, The trailers don’t give much away except general suspense, terror and ominous imagery. I’m not sure what to expect but I’m curious. Oh and Charlize is in this. No trailer footage revealing any eye-fucking, but girl, I’ll be waiting.
Those are the only summer movies I’m anxious for. You ask, “But WAIT! No Avengers? No Dark Knight Rises?” That’s right, booboo. While I may have been madly in love with Thor and Chris Body-Oddy-Oddy-Oooolala-Hemsworth, I am not gung ho for him teaming up with super friends. I was never one to really love the comic Super Friends / Justice League / Avengers merging of superheroes. It gets to a point of ridiculousity. Plus half of why I actually adored Thor (besides Chrissy-pookums) was the Norse mythology. I’m aware the Loki is the baddy in Avengers but the cheese of modern heroes super combo fighting squad just doesn’t appeal. 
As for Dark Knight Rises, well, I was pretty meh about the whole affair with the first two. While I am excited for Catwoman to enter and I’ll be interested to see Anne Hathaway, who seems a little too “sunshine and rainbows” in all the films I’ve seen try and pulloff batshit crazy….or should I say catshit crazy?! Mwahaha, worst pun ever. Anyways, I’m also interested that they swept Heath Ledger’s Joker under the rug by making it eight years later. Interested but that doesn’t scream good. I mean they have Heath’s also famous doppelganger in the film. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is the craziest lookalike in the world. Why pass him up to get some Joker bits in? And apparently there’s unused Heath footage too. No transition? Just gone? Anyways Dark Knight was vastly overrated.

Career Distortions

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Lately, I’ve been having trouble crossing the bridge between ideas and implementation. It’s like my spark to write and create content for the web and my life has been completely scrapped. All I have in its stead is a needless desire to post pictures on tumblr, tweet incessantly, facebook like it’s my job and watch a lot of Netflix. Since losing my job January 30th, I have achieved an excessive amount of anime consumption with a healthy side portion of Buffy, Bones, House, How I Met Your Mother and Mad Men. Since losing my job and encountering the monumental amount of free time that I have desired, I haven’t even been able to clean up my house or catch up on laundry. And I managed to have a snake escapee. I’m feeling short on accomplishments, short on achievement and low on motivation. So how do you pull yourself out of a creative block? My brain is aching to go somewhere. I’m sure my depression hasn’t remotely helped anything. I feel guilty for having nothing to say, guilty for having nothing in there at all.
So, how do you get out of a rut?